Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner

Jared's team had their first win on Friday! I was so proud of him, the other coaches, and the boys. It was Jared's second game as the offensive coordinator, too, so I was an especially proud coach's wife.

I took the saying above, "winner winner, chicken dinner," from the blackjack movie, 21 (good movie, by the way). Being a coach is a little like "strategic" gambling. They have a game plan, they practice, they study the game and their opponents, but every Friday the coach puts his career on the line. It's a scary thing to know that your career can depend on the way a 15-year old executes a play. It's kind of like putting your money out on the table and hoping the cards fall your way. Yet, it's exhilarating.

When Jared's team loses, we both get that pit in our stomachs--just sort of sick filling. I personally relate this feeling to tournament poker. Jared and I love to play Texas Hold 'Em, but there is nothing like playing a tournament for hours-on-end and into the wee hours of the night just to "miss the money" (if the top three players get paid, and you're number four, you "missed the money"). In addition to all the practice and planning, the boys fight for four long quarters. That's a lot of work to walk away with nothing.

Sometimes in poker, you play exactly like you should have, or at least the best that you're capable of, but you just get beat. Same with football. Or, you know you made a bad call or fold and you torture yourself by replaying it over and over in your head. Jared replays every game in his head. Even when they win, he questions calls he made.

Oh, but the joy of a win! It's funny--when I play poker and win, I can't wait to play again, but if I lose, I'm just not excited to get back into it. When the boys win, it makes it all worthwhile. All the long hours, all the frustration in dealing with teenage boys, all the pressure of job security (or lack thereof) just seems worth it. It seems like a risk worth taking.

Sometimes you just have to take a gamble and see what cards you're dealt.

Adjusting (and enjoying)!!

Ok, so I guess I'm adjusting, because I found myself really enjoying my Monday night alone tonight. I came home, cranked up my "chill" playlist on my ipod, hopped in a hot bath and relaxed. Afterwards, I cooked what I wanted for dinner. Oddly enough, a grilled cheese and a turkey hot dog (no bun) tingled my taste buds. Yeah, not many people would enjoy eating this meal with me--so that's why I need an occasional dinner alone!

I'm reading Karol Ladd's book, The Power of a Positive Wife, and I guess it's got me thinking positively about being a coach's wife, too. Other fun things about being a coach's wife:

• Lot's of school t-shirts to sleep in
• Power of the remote control (TLC and Lifetime here I come!)
• Guilt-free time to blog, workout, nap, etc.
• Missing my husband and being excited to see him when he gets home
• Getting to watch my husband work on Friday nights
• Outings with the other coaches' wives
• Free tickets to games
• Never worrying about Friday night plans

Whatever career your husband is in, he needs your encouragement, support, and love.

Late nights? Enjoy your nights alone--use that time to find your passions; when you have your own passions, you'll be more supportive of his.

Hubby comes home stressed? Tell him how proud you are of him and how thankful you are for all he does to support you and your family. Order dinner in and take a night to relax with him. Instead of nagging him for wanting to relax, join him. Who knows what a little TLC might do for your marriage ;)

Too much time together? I know some women have the opposite problem of me. Their husband either works from home or doesn't work many hours. (This can be summer or holidays for coach's wives) If that's the case, pray for sanity. Just kidding! Give each other space, so that you have something to share when you come back together. Plan lunch dates or an afternoon stroll (or whatever it is you call it..wink), then go your separate ways until then. If you set a time to meet, neither of you will be tempted to interrupt the other and you just might look forward to seeing each other.

What are some ways that you've encouraged your man? How are you turning a potential negative into a positive? Any other thoughts for dinner for one?

So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you'll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you're already doing this; just keep on doing it.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (The Message)

The Mack of All Daddies

It's not often that we actually get to meet our heroes, but yesterday Jared got his chance. He met head coach of UT Austin's football team, Mack Brown.

Not only was Mack incredibly nice about taking pictures, but he spent 10 minutes talking to Jared and a couple other coaches on Jared's team.

I'm thankful that Jared and I have role models like Mack and his wife Sally to look up to as we're starting our journey.

This article about Sally is an encouragement to me as a wife of a coach.

Summer Fun to Football Widow--transition is hard

After a week of late night meetings, my coaching husband left this morning to attend four days of the Texas High School Coaches Association convention. This time of year is the hardest. During the summer, I see him every night, he pitches in with housework (I work full-time, by the way), and his attention is generally on me.

Around mid-July things start to change...I become a football widow.

It starts with meetings during the evenings, then the Saturdays get devoured, too, then he's gone for the annual convention. It doesn't end there! Upon return, he'll start two-a-days which result in his pure exhaustion. By the time I see him, he's hardly got energy to eat, let alone put a dish in the dishwasher. Although, he seems to muster up enough energy for a couple of things ;)

Although he'll pretty much stay this busy until the season ends, it gets easier. The transition is just so hard. I miss him, I miss splitting household chores, I miss eating lunch with him, I miss vegging on the couch with him, I miss his focus being on me. Yet, I believe with all my heart that he is called by God to minister to young men through coaching.

How do I handle this transition? Well, currently I'm handling it with my knee-jerk reaction--pull away and disconnect from him. In my immaturity and selfishness, I choose to protect myself from feeling rejected, left aside, and lonely, by doing the old "I'll leave you before you leave me" trick. I'll let you in on a little secret, though. It doesn't feel any better.

How would I like to handle this transition? I'd love to be more honest with my coach. To tell him how much I miss him and how happy I am to see him in our few moments together. I'd love to be independent, yet still need him. It's hard for me to find the right balance between independence and dependence, and to adjust the balance depending on the season. I'm a fortunate coach's wife--he really tries hard to show me he loves me and he really does miss me. I also want to work on looking to the Lord to fill my needs--Jared really isn't responsible to fill me emotionally or spiritually, and no one can live up to that pressure.

Instead of turning away from Jared, I will run towards Jesus. He can protect me, love me, sustain me, nourish me, romance me, and even humor me.

In addition, during the times I would have spent with Jared, I'm seeking things that will give me purpose and growth. Today, I went to a christian writer's conference hosted by Roaring Lambs and met so many wonderful women that God has used to touch other people. It encouraged me to post a couple blogs--progress, eh! Then, I made plans to attend mentor training at The Village Church to mentor an at-risk child for an hour per week. Hopefully more on these topics later.

Gotta go to bed now. I'm tired enough that I think I can fall asleep without my snuggle buddy.